I am about to be unprofessionally honest because the last two weeks have been the hardest ever in my business. And I couldn’t have got through it without your help, so I want to share the story with you.
This shit is HARD!
I love being my own boss and I love working with creatives to help them be their own bosses. My work lights me up and fills me with joy. When I meet people and tell them about what I do for a living they often say things like “I don’t know many people who LOVE their job! You’re very lucky.”
And I am lucky and I feel blessed every day, almost every day.
BUT it’s really F&%^$ing hard!
(I don’t normally swear online and often talk about how I don’t do it, but I really felt that sentence wasn’t strong enough without the profanity)
Some days are so freakin’ hard that I just want to give up, work as a check out chick at my local supermarket and enjoy a calmer, stress free existence.
Do you ever feel like your own dreams and ambitions are really just exhausting and self defeating.
That sums up how I have felt for a fortnight.
The Artful Business Conference is a project so dear to my heart, I love it and I believe in the concept so much. We are just over three weeks away from the third year in a row (although last year was only an online event) and it is so stressful I already can’t sleep.
The budget is always crazy tight, and while I have been over it and over it again and again and I know it will work out, the timing of it all terrifies me each and every day.
Will I get enough ticket sales in time to pay all the bills? Will the speakers deliver on their promises? Will the venue and the food be as good as I hope?
Will it work?
Argh!! And of course the sleepless nights just make me more tired, less effective and therefore MORE STRESSED. It’s a vicious cycle!
This is not a sob story post – stick with me.
The reason I am telling you all of this is because the hardest part of it is the feeling that you are in it alone.
Like I said I love being my own boss, I love working from home. But when times get tough or stressful it can be so isolating!!
If you are having what I call a BLANKET DAY, where you just want to hide under the blankets, cry a little (or a lot) and make the rest of the world go away, I want you to know – it’s ok!
I want you to know, you are not alone!
You are not alone and this too shall pass.
I am super stressed out and I know I will be until 5pm Tuesday 9th September when I announce the close of the conference for another year.
But I also know it will be ok and I know that I am not alone either. Because last week when I mentioned on Facebook how tough a day I was having you rallied behind me. You sent words of encouragement, understanding and support and you will never know how much that meant to me and how grateful I am for it.
It’s ok to be tired. It’s ok to hate your work for the moment. It’s ok to question yourself. It’s ok to ask “How did I get here and why are am I even trying?”
It’s ok to cry into your wine and wonder, is it really worth it?
But don’t do it alone.
And don’t stay in that space too long, because you are amazing and the world needs your gift.
Call a friend, turn to your social networks or snuggle up with a loved one. It’s ok to be scared, tired and feel done with it all. But call in the troops and let them help you feel braver tomorrow.